The End (?)

This is my final entry to this blog, it is inevitable, my exchange year in Denmark has come to an end. It took me about 5 days to interpret my leave, so here is a "Spark's Notes" guide to my year in Denmark.

On August 1st I left my home. I left my family. I left my friends. I left my comfort zone. And I left everything I knew a million miles away, and roughly 330 days until I knew it again.
It was devastating, earth shattering, and probably one of the most difficult things I've ever done in my life... or so I thought at the time.

On June 17th I will tell you it wasn't the most complicated thing I have ever done.
June 17th was the hardest day of my life. It was the day I said "vi ses" to everyone who captured my heart, and it was "vi ses" to a beautiful country named Denmark. Denmark, stole my heart, and changed me as a person.... I owe all my credit to the misfortune and incredibly fortunate experiences I encountered this year. They made me a stronger more educated person.

I am proud to say I have achieved great things this year. I solved things above my capability (or so I thought), I met impeccable people, and I experienced a new way of life.
My heart is deeply engraved with the memories (good, bad, ugly, and beautiful) of what occurred this year.

My heart weeps silently at the thought of not being in Denmark and not being able to hug my loved ones back in Denmark and around the world as a matter of fact, but it also is dancing a great dance of joy.

It is the most conflicting emotion to have ever been present in my emotions and in my thoughts.
I cry because I know it will no longer be present, what has occurred and was occurring is in the past now, it is only in my memories. However, I scream for joy because IT HAS HAPPENED.
I met the most amazing people, saw the most spectacular things, and have had the best experiences in my life. I know not everyone can say that they have done that. I know one day when I am on my death bed, I will smile to myself and think... " those were the best days of my life, those were some amazing sights, and wow... those were such amazing people with such beautiful souls... and yes... I did it all myself.... and yes, those people meant so much to me."
I know that no matter where I am in the world, I will be thinking of those people. We will forever be together in my memories. My mind holds a special place for those people. My memories will never erase this... my mind will never erase you.

You all know who you are. In fact, this second I am thinking of you all. Our beautiful moments together. You are the reason I write. You are the reason my fingers breathe this very instant. Never will I forget. You know who you are...

Denmark. Changed me forever. It is not the end. No. It is just the beginning.

I will not ramble on about how Denmark was as a country, that is just the outline of what really went on. I will not talk about how my danish was, what the fashion was like, school, families etc.
That is just the outside. I want you to read between the lines... feel as how I have.

I could not stop crying. I said goodbye to you at the airport. I saw the tears in your eyes. I hugged you goodbye. I walked past security with huge tears in my eyes, blurred vision, and mascara running down like dripping wet paint. It was the most terrible pain. I don't know when I will see you again. But I hope soon. People were staring. Thinking the worst probably. People must have thought... "that poor girl, must have said bye to her family... maybe a boyfriend?". It was 1000 times worse. It was my family, my friends, my home, everything I made... everything that was dear to me. It reminded me of August 1st 2009. But 10000 times worse. I knew I would see the U.S again... will I see you again? Will I see Denmark again? I hope so. I pray everyday to grant me that one thing. Bring me back to you.

When I say you, I hope you know who you (ALL) are.

My heart broke on that bus that one day. I said goodbye to most my exchange friends. The one group of people who could understand my every emotion. I wrote to you that day too. I hope you read that letter and think of me. I also hugged you that day, by the stairs, and as I cried you made one of your usual jokes, it instantly made me smile. You can make me laugh like no one else ever can. I hope you know who you are.

That one day I saw you last. I was running for the bus. We didn't get to say goodbye. I cried the whole way home. But then I thought of all our great times together, and laughed. You two bring a smile to my face.

I will never forget you all.

I loved my year. I loved my friends. I loved my family. And I always will.
I will never forget you all.

Most importantly. I want you to know this.

I want to thank you. SO SO SO SO MUCH. You changed my life. Denmark changed my life.
You opened my eyes. Denmark woke me up. You took my hand. Denmark leaded me. You loved me. Denmark supported me. You changed my life... and Denmark influenced it.
My year was amazing. It was spectacular. The terrible things that happened this year, do no longer count. They are over. And now, I only see the good.

This is not the end. No. It is the beginning of a new life for me. I have changed for the better, and constantly I see that Denmark is still molding me... even though I am no longer living there. Denmark is here in the states. It is growing inside me like a new root. It is giving my life and allowing me to breath even deeper then I imagined. This year, this new life, was more then I imagined it to be.

This is not the end. No. It is just the beginning.

Thank you everyone for this year. It couldn't have been possible without you.
I hope you know who you are. Names are not necessary. Only my love for you all and my words are just what we need.

Denmark, and you... will always, always be in my heart.


Thank you everyone who stayed updated with my blog. Its meant a lot to me. I hope you enjoyed it, even though I was pretty bad at keeping it well updated!
Look for me in the future, I'm sure I will have another blog up soon of whats going on now in my life and of some of my other works of literature... aka: me just writing for fun :)

All my love. To you the best, who always stayed with me,
Megan Elizabeth Bender